


Security Check

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6298213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilfoyle freelances at Hooli and flirts with Gavin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Security Check

“Hey,” Gilfoyle said as he walked into Gavin’s office. Gavin frowned at someone just walking in and addressing him without any reverence. “I’m the freelancer they hired to make sure all your shit is secure.

  
Gavin sighed. “Everyone is paranoid after the Sony hack. Here at Hooli, everything is secure.”

  
“Great, then there won't be any issues,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“Fine. Just don’t bug me while you do it.” He went back to looking out the window, feeling annoyed that someone was interrupting his quiet reflection time. “You know, this is absurd. The only way anyone could have even a remote chance at hacking me is if they physically had my phone which is imp--”

  
“This phone,” Gilfoyle asked, holding it up.

  
“Hey, you menace, give that back. You’re not allowed to pickpocket me.”

  
“I’m being paid to pickpocket you, actually. It’s the best gig I’ve ever gotten,” Gilfoyle said as he sat down on the couch.

  
“Are you just going to sit there for hours trying to guess my passcode like a crazed jealous lover?” Gavin asked.

  
“Don’t need the passcode,” Gilfoyle said.

  
Gavin watched him and said, “This is so insulting. I mean, I work in tech. Security is a huge part of what I--”

  
Gilfoyle let out a low chuckle.

  
“What’s funny?”

  
“I found your gay porn,” Gilfoyle said.

  
“I don’t have porn on my phone,” Gavin said, frowning.

  
“No, it’s on your computer. I’m just accessing it from your phone. It’s fun explaining this stuff to someone who’s made billions in tech. And by ‘fun’ I mean a reminder that the universe is cruel and random.”

  
Gavin went over to Gilfoyle to see which video he was watching. “I can’t believe this is happening. You understand you can’t talk about any of this or we’ll sue the shit out of you, right?”

  
“Yeah the 50 page nondisclosure agreement kind of tipped me off,” Gilfoyle said. “And now I see why you needed one. Jesus.”

  
“I downloaded this on accident,” Gavin said. “I was on a regular porn site and I clicked the wrong link...”

  
“Let’s check the play count just for fun,” Gilfoyle said. “Wow. Over fifty times. I did not expect that. What, you were catching all the subtleties of the story?”

  
“Do you actually know how to fix these security issues?”

  
“I do, but I’m not being paid for that,” Gilfoyle said. He put his feet up on the couch and said, “Oh shit, I totally see why you’ve watched this 50 times now. This is good shit.”

  
Gavin glanced at the door and made sure it was closed. “Yeah? You like that?”

  
“Sure. I don’t know what it is about come on the chest but... some things are cliche for a reason, you know what I mean?”

  
“I do know what you mean,” Gavin said. “But, I don’t think we should be talking about this in the workplace.”

  
“I don’t give a shit. I’m not looking to extend my time working for you. I only took this job because it was quick and involved rooting through all your shit.”

  
“Well, when you’re done seeing how many ways you can invade my privacy, do you want to get a drink?”

  
“Not really. You seem like an insufferable person to be around. Let’s just skip straight to the part where you come all over my chest.”

  
“An insufferable person? What does that mean? Where are you getting that from?”

  
“I’m offering to let you skip straight to the fun part without any bullshit courtship and that’s what you choose to get hung up on?”

  
“You called me insufferable! You just met me.”

  
“If I’d known it would bug you this much, I wouldn’t have said it. But, I would have still thought it.” When he saw how pissy Gavin looked, he said, “I like your taste in porn.” He made a disapproving noise and said, “Oh, but I hate your email signature. Namaste, Gavin Belson? You put that out into the world willingly and you’re nervous that a hack will uncover something embarrassing?”

  
“Why do you think I’m insufferable?”

  
“Well, at first it was just a hunch, but now it’s the fact that you sign all your emails ‘Namaste, Gavin Belson.’ That’s all I need to know.”

  
“That’s a very minor detail to just write me off over,” Gavin snapped defensively.

  
“Not really. It’s just one of those details that says it all. Like how I have my dirty shoes on your couch right now. You hate that, right? Just to your very core?”

  
“Yes...” Gavin admitted, looking at Gilfoyle curiously.

  
“So, I would never be more than a one-night stand to you. And on some basic level it would be solely because I put my dirty shoes on your couch.”

  
Gavin thought about that and then said, “... I think if you got to know me, you wouldn’t think I’m insufferable.”

  
“So, just so we’re clear, you are turning down easy and immediate sex just to prove a point that you’re likable?" 

  
Gavin shrugged and murmured, “I just think you should get to know me before you write me off.”

  
“Everything about what you’re doing right now is behavior indicative of a completely insufferable human being. Just so you know.”

  
Gilfoyle stretched out on the couch and went back to looking through Gavin’s phone. He snorted and said, “I can’t believe you tried to spell the word ‘later’ with a number 8 at your age. That’s way more embarrassing than if you’d sent a dick pic.”

  
“I can’t believe you think I’m insufferable, when you’re the one getting dirt on my couch and mocking my personal messages.”

  
“Well, the difference between the two of us is that I’m not debating that I’m insufferable.” He tossed the phone on the table. “I added my number to your phone. The contact name I chose for myself is really offensive, so tell your guys they should increase their security immediately.” He stood up and headed for the door. “Text me some time when you want sex. Only sex though not...” He shook his head at Gavin and sighed, “Getting to know you.”


End file.
